Saturday, 27 August 2011

Carnival - Part II

It's estimated that the cost of policing the Notting Hill Carnival under normal circumstances is around £6 million. Due to recent events it will be significantly more this year with a  huge increase in the level of policing required to try and ensure it passes off relatively peacefully. It's generally considered be a success if only one person is murdered and that is no exaggeration. I will let you work out one of the common denominators between the recent civil unrest the biggest Caribbean street carnival in the world.  


How much of the police bill is charged to the Carnival organisers is a something which you don't really hear anyone talking about - on either side, although I'll guarantee if any contribution is made - it will not exactly amount to a whole hill of beans. 

The truth of the matter is that Carnival could not possibly afford to pay for what they are ultimately 100% liable for which is the cost of every single police officer taken away from their normal day job in return for ensuring large numbers of people get to enjoy two days of revelry in W11 - without being killed. 

By comparison - at every football ground this weekend - long standing routine procedure dictates that the clubs pay up for the cops they need to be on duty inside and immediately outside their property. 

If the same principle was made to apply to Carnival (and there is no good reason why it should not) then the planning meetings would be over in a jiffy . . . . . . . .  

Carnival can't pay for cops  =  No cops at carnival  =  No Carnival 

Imagine . . . no Carnival - you can almost hear Diane Abbott choking on her jerk chicken and in the name of all that is multicultural it would never be allowed to happen and therefore it never does.

Anyway I sincerely hope that rather than limbo dancing for the benefit of the cameras, some of the additional police resources being deployed this Bank Holiday weekend are gainfully employed protecting some of the residents of Notting Hill, who for good reason will be living in fear of being attacked inside their own homes for a second time within the space of a month.

So on Monday evening when the festivities are over, the pigeons have taken off their parrot costumes, the sound systems have been shut down and it's getting dark - hold your breath and hope the deterrent effect of all those long prison sentences has kicked in.


Carnival - Part I

This is a London Underground poster currently promoting the Notting Hill Carnival in tube stations across London - a Saatchi production I believe and it's quite a clever concept with the pidgeon getting into a parrot costume. Anyway it kind of speaks up for the positive aspect of Carnival - colour, culture etc. - if that's what floats your boat.


However, as always - there's another side to Carnival . . . . . . . . . . . . .  

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Gaddafi Regime Memorial Awards 2011


Winners
Outstanding British Contribution

                                                           








Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Reputations


Staff at the New York Sofitel prepare the DSK Suite for the welcome return of a very fortunate guest.

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Nearly there


I'm alright Jack


You have quite probably seen and heard rather a lot of Mr John Cooper QC, currently touring the TV news channels ad nauseum, bleating on about how, in his esteemed opinion, Magistrates have been hysterically influenced by public opinion as they slavishly hand down outrageously disproportionate sentences to the rioters and looters purely on the basis of “it’s what angry Britain wants.”

When someone like Cooper has a lot to say for himself, particularly when it’s self serving bollocks – it’s always worth taking the time to find out a little more about the person. It invariably answers a lot of questions. I had never heard of Cooper before this week but now I understand what makes him tick. For example . . . .  

John Cooper QC is a 'leading' criminal law and human rights barrister. The clue is in the last three words.

John Cooper QC is a former Parliamentary Candidate for the Labour Party having contested North West Surrey in 1987 and Amber Valley in the East Midlands in 1992. He lost each time.

John Cooper QC is Chairman of the League Against Cruel Sports. Before you ask - you're right - he was an influential architect of the ban on fox hunting.

I could go on but I think you have enough information. If you really want to know more visit his website and you will discover that there really is no end to this mans talents interests and opinions. A proper all round smart arse. Anyway back to the rioters and looters.

Despite the distrust of Cooper QC, our courts do have independence and they are quite capable of reaching their own decisions, which mercifully they have been, based upon the facts, which include aggravating factors such as the inescapable truth that all the offences currently being tried were committed, quite deliberately, during a full scale riot the like of which this country has not witnessed before. That is what is being quite rightly and justifiably reflected in the severity of the sentences. To seriously suggest that courts are presiding over cases with an eye on The Sun and ear on the gossip in the local Wetherspoons is as ridiculous as it is preposterous. 

Clearly it is an unpalatable concept for Cooper - public opinion having some kind of influence on the judiciary, but it’s fine for him and his ilk to constantly try and exert their 'professional' influence as members of numerous legal panels, bodies and committees, attempting to further their own narrow and personal agendas. 

With the current and widely applauded rate of custodial referrals, the legal wind is clearly not blowing in their preferred direction and consequently their collective influence amounts to jack. So it’s time to come over all self righteous, affronted and indignant – time to force their preferred flavour of justice all over the BBC, SKY News the Guardian or anywhere else prepared to accommodate their philosophy - you're all wrong and we're right. 

And another thing I discovered . . . . . . . . .

John Cooper QC lives in a Regency Farm-house in Hertfordshire built in 1821. He spends what spare time he has (can’t be that much) renovating and furnishing the old house, which stands on the site of a Tudor Mansion.

Now, had the anarchy spread to Hertfordshire two weeks ago (as a resident of the county I am immensely grateful it did not) it’s highly likely that said Regency farmhouse and its occupants would have been an obvious target for the criminal scumbags seizing the moment, just like they did to some of the properties in affluent inner London. So imagine as the Cooper's Regency Farm-House front door was kicked off it’s hinges before the place was emptied of it’s valuables and then torched for good measure - Cooper QC cowering under his bed – fretting about the poor people’s rights rather than their responsibilities and what dreadful consequences await them at the hands of our feeble impressionable judiciary.

Thankfully for Cooper QC and the whole left wing human rights elite, shit just never visits their  doorstep like it does these days with such regularity and devastating consequences for so many other 'ordinary' folk. And until the day it does, presumably he will carry on just being smug John Cooper QC.

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Rich man Poor man

Milliband's speech to the urban sub culture select commitee earlier this week:

"Brovers if you is from a broken family yeah, hear dis - der is single parents wot is doin' a good job aat der and der is kids what 'ave a mum and dad who is bowf doin' a crap job"

"It ain't all abaaat de feckless at de bottom, remember der is rich parents wot 'ave no control on their kids and poor ones what 'ave got der kids well licked"

"If you was into a bit a teeeving an mugging de oder niiight - chill out man cos even some rich boys was doin it too - ya get me"

"An 'ere me naa - not everybadie from de getto is robbin' an stuff, for reel get dis - dem rich kids dey even gettin' well into de street crime these days"

"So if you is feeling a bit guilty for lootin' Comet or whateva - don't cos dem bad ass bankers dey done some bad shit as well - it's de same ting believe me man"

"But get dis most of all for sure - riiight now everyone tinks you lot is all mongrels out der but me not one for judging yoooz" 

"So next time - remember big up de Labour . . . . Respect" 
   

Monday, 15 August 2011

Sick as a dog

As all hardworking law abiding people open their newspapers this morning they will hopefully be able to see a couple of stories which whilst they are depressingly by no means unique, they are in essence, typical of what the PM described last week as parts of our society that are not just broken but sick. 


He was as we know quite rightly talking about rioting scumbag looters but I'll guarantee that, if asked, Cameron or any other politician for that matter, would bullshit their way around avoiding describing the following two stories as examples of that same sick society.  


Allow me to introduce you to Somalian asylum seekers the Khaliifs . . . . . . . . . . . 


Mrs Khaliif has every right to look pleased with herself clutching the keys to the new £2 million pound six bedroomed property in London's affluent West Hampstead which she and her family have just moved into at a cost of £8000 in rent per month. That's £8000 paid for by you and me - the British tax payers. They used to live rent free in a six bedroomed property in Coventry but moaned it was inadequate and demanded to be moved to London to be closer to friends and family. Camden Council were only too happy to oblige. Unemployed Mr Khaliif has not worked since he arrived in the UK 3 years ago and admits he is on benefits. He added "This is my house. We've got every right to live here".

Sick ?

This murderous low life needs no introductions . . . . . . . . . . . .

Tracie Andrews was released this weekend from a 14 year stretch for the murder of her boyfriend who she stabbed 37 times then lied through her teeth to evade prosecution, remember?  

Serving just 14 years of a so called life sentence is bad enough but that's not the real story here as sickening as that is. No - looking at Andrew's recent image you might be thinking to yourself that the last 14 years incarceration don't appear to have done her too much damage. And you'd be right. Because no doubt like me, you had forgotten that two years ago, and in preparation for her release, Andrews underwent £5000 worth of plastic surgery courtesy of the NHS, in order to change her appearance. It is a matter of public record that Andrews is as unrepentant today as she was in 1996 when she killed.

Sick?

Rights and Responsibilities


Before the result of the last election Cameron told voters that the three party leaders would decide who should be prime minister likening it to “Tweedledum talking to Tweedledee, who is talking to Tweedledem”.

The same could now be said over the undignified row between the PM and Home Secretary on one side and Acting Commissioner Godwin and ACPO President Hugh Orde on the other. Like me you might very well ask yourself just who the bloody hell dictates public order policing tactics these days, not just in London but nationally?

Allegations that the Met officers were initially ‘too timid’ are contemptible and Godwin is right to refute this. But, slow to react to the disorder in the early stages? Almost certainly but this would not have been a tactical option taken by the rank and file – they would have been simply following orders and those orders would without doubt have been the end product of a wider tactical response formulated by a very senior officer based on restraint, containment and you guessed - human rights concerns.

It would have been a brave senior police officer indeed to authorise a zero tolerance approach from the outset last week even with the limited resources available. Why? Well who came to the defence of the Met when they got stuck into the G20 ‘demonstrators’ earlier this year? And there in a nutshell is one of the many problems laid bare by the current back stabbing between the police and the politicians.

The Home Secretary has insisted the police must accept the Government’s authority, she said: “Ministers must ensure the police know what the public expect of them.”

There should not be a single Chief Constable out there who is not aware of what the public in their own areas expect of them – some acutely more aware than others after the last seven days. To put it bluntly the public want to see arses kicked and scumbags taken off the streets.

Ministers and Chief Police Officers all too often hide behind the principle of ‘policing by consent’ and use it bizarrely as an excuse to do nothing. They were at it all last week talking bollocks as to why water canons were not a good idea and using plastic bullets was not even considered. There could not have been a more resounding message coming from the majority of decent minded people all week – you have our consent now get out there and do something positive with it!

It wasn’t just last week’s disorder, as serious as it was. This has been going on for decades. Politicians have consistently ignored what the law-abiding majority in this country want and Theresa May quite frankly is talking out of her arse claiming Ministers must ensure the police know what the public expect of them as if it’s the police and the police alone who can deliver those expectations. Ministers as well as Chief Constables have a duty to respond to the expectations, concerns and frustrations experienced by the public in everyday life.

When was the last time you heard anyone from the Conservatives let alone the coalition talking seriously about removing the UK from the malevolent influence of the European Parliament and its corrosive Convention on Human Rights. Correct, you haven’t.  

There is silence too among the Police Chiefs. How many of them have you heard speaking out publicly against the culture of political correctness, happy to go along with what politicians serve up to them, perpetuating the risk averse approaach but steering well clear of criticising and opposing it, in principle if nothing else. As always, to do so would threaten their own career prospects and pensions – far more important than what their public actually demands.

Just as the majority of the general public were crying out for robust policing last week with water canon and plastic rounds, they might also very well be thinking what could possibly be wrong in seeking the advice of American Bill Bratton who when he was a Chief Officer in New York and Los Angeles, had proven success tackling gang culture.

With an almost co-ordinated sense of indignation, several Chief Constables have already dismissed the idea. ACPO President Hugh Orde, with breathtaking arrogance has actually questioned and mocked the success rates of Bratton and in a single comment he just about sums up the whole British approach to law enforcement, both from a political and policing perspective.

Hugh Orde suggested that the European Convention on Human Rights may prevent Britain adopting Mr Bratton’s “zero tolerance” policing. Priceless!

Have you even thought about what the public might think about Mr Bratton’s ideas Mr Orde? Of course not – wouldn’t want to jeopardise your chances of becoming the next Metropolitan Police Commissioner now would you?  Although having said that I wouldn’t think you have done an awful lot to convince the Home Secretary you’re the best candidate now somehow.

Apologies for ranting on this long but as I’m sure you appreciate – we have all had something to say about recent events and will no doubt continue to do so in the days, weeks and months ahead. So to finish on a lighter note what could be more appropriate in the circumstances than the spookily prophetic words of DCI Gene Hunt giving Lord Scarman both barrels;

“Well you can take this home in your Harrods pipe and smoke it! In twenty years time, when the streets are awash with filth, and you're too frightened to leave your big, posh Belsize Park house after dark, don't come running to me, mate! Because I'll be in Alicante, oiled up, skin sizzling in the midday sun like a burnt sausage!
You can despise us, you can disown us, you can even try and close us down, but you will never break us! We are police officers! We are brothers! We are UN-BLOODY-BREAKABLE!”



Friday, 12 August 2011

Evolution

It's pretty dull standing on the underground platform at Moorgate each morning half way through my daily commute. But this week has been a bit different with all that's been going on. Plenty to think about waiting for the southbound Northern line train. To relieve some of the commuters tedium, London Underground these days even provide video advertising projected onto the tube wall. 

And so, each morning this week as I have been digesting the previous evenings riotous goings on, I have been somewhat drawn in by the trailer for the new film - Rise of the Planet of the Apes. 

Now before I upset any anthropologists or become labeled a racist by any simpering Guardianista diversity mad lefties, I am fully aware that non human primates are, relatively speaking, quite intelligent and are not defined by the colour of their skin. 

However it did strike me that the behavioural traits of the sub cultural pond life that has been dragging its knuckles through the retail centres of most of our major cities this week bore a resemblance to certain aspects of non human primate social behaviour. 

It is an established fact that most non human primate communities are closed to contact with other communities, they avoid each other and are often aggressive towards outsiders. As a result, social interactions between members of different troops is very rare. Sound familiar ? Chimpanzees have been known to eat their own shit - for its nutritional value which admittedly is several evolutionary steps ahead of the KFC, McDonalds, pizza, kebabs and chips diet.

Anyway such idle thoughts helped to pass the time and as I boarded my train, opening my newspaper I was intrigued when I saw an article about the Radio 4 Arts programme 'Front Row' this week. Apparently Rise of the Planet of the Apes was the subject of discussion and the star of the film Andy Serkis and the BBC pseudo intellectual presenter Mark Lawson were mutually gratifying themselves about the films subliminal context along the lines of; 

"The film works on so many political levels. When the apes are there in their cages and being pummelled with a hose you can't help but think of Guantanamo, of torture. When we witness the breakout we are thinking of the Arab Spring"

"That's absolutely correct Mark, every time we think of apes they become a mirror back to our society"

So take your pick - the apes are either wearing orange jump suits being carted around in wheelbarrows and being waterboarded or sitting at home with a brand new 52" plasma, iPad2 and wardrobe full of JD Sports crap.

What will Newsnight Review make of it all ?

Monday, 8 August 2011

London's burning

Whilst anarchy is literally spreading like wildfire across London - the Acting Commissioner waddles out of New Scotland Yard and addresses the media. In what could best be described as a finger in the dyke moment he appealed for parents to start ringing their children to ask where they were. Bless.

Assuming parents are a reality in the lives of some of these scum bags, the conversation must have been enlightening.

"Well father it's rather chaotic so I'll make it quick - I am currently inside the Croydon branch of J D Sports trying on a pair of wicked Adidas Originals in suede. You want anything while I'm here?

Sunday, 7 August 2011

24hr banking arrives in Tottenham


A midnight visit to the local branch by these toe rags wearing hoodies and gloves may be innovative but already a thing of the past - that's if they manage to work out how to use the computers they also looted from Comet.

This one will run and run - like a stuck record

Saturday, 6 August 2011

Ouch !

Despite being warned repeatedly as long ago as April, to sort out out their national debt or face losing the much coveted Triple A credit rating, Democrats and Republicans were more interested in knocking the crap out of each other over what to do and when. 

And the reason they have now been stripped of the Triple A ? Washington took too long in deciding what to do.


Way to go !

Friday, 5 August 2011

Situations vacant: Public Relations Tripoli

PR agencies contacted in New York and London to improve Dictators image. 

My money's on London and there's only one man for this job.



Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Looking after No1

The dusty old wigs have decreed once and for all that the Head of Childrens Services in Haringay was wrongly removed from her position. It really is truly terrifying to think that if Ed Balls hadn't sacked her, this woman in all probability would still today be at her desk denying she had done anything wrong while more children were abused, tortured and killed under her nose. 

Spare a thought for Peter Donnelly when you are counting your fetid compensation