Black Friday

White van man

What next as Labour realise they need the votes of people they previously despised - Harriet Harman "honestly what's not to like about Page 3, it's only flesh . . . respect those saucy chicks"

Wubble

"A large crisis requires a large plan . . . . . . . get me two pencils and a pair of underpants"

"Right listen up Balls - we tell the people that the party faithful are unswervingly 100% full square behind me and I will be standing outside the door of No.10 Downing Street on May 8th next year before you can say . . . . . . . wubble"

As if anyone needs reminding . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I'm a celebrity . . . Get me out of here

Some consolation that the ban on competing in Paralympic sport will last for the duration of the 5 year sentence and in a years time when in all likelihood the remaining 4 years will be served under house arrest - that should at least prevent the inevitable flood of TV reality show offers.

Yes . . . Yes . . . Yes